Why Fall in Florida Sucks: Celebrate Anyway in 10 Steps
Did you feel that? I did. It was a unanimous eye-roll and sigh felt around the state. Fall in South Florida, is pure bullshit. If you have lived in the
inferno paradise for more than a few years; you know the truth about Florida fall. By the time Labor Day reaches you are more than tired of the intense heat. You are sick of needing a shower before noon. And you are looking forward to the season of cool-ER weather. Only natives know that “winter” (January- March) is the only time to truly enjoy the outdoors. Being resilient memory makers, we will celebrate with our kids anyway: Fall in Florida Sucks: Celebrate Anyway in 10 Easy Steps!
- Buy pumpkin spice everything! Forget that you can no longer buy shorts or tank tops in stores and maybe half of a bikini on the clearance rack. Latte’s, martinis, beer, bread, soup and desserts. By enjoying pumpkin spice everything you will mentally transport to a New England apple farm and forget the truth about Florida fall. This is the only thing retailers are getting right. South Floridians LOVE pumpkin spice everything.
- Find a sun burned tree or bush. Somewhere in your community, someone’s foliage has fallen to death from the intense heat. Park next to it with your a/c blasting, sipping a pumpkin ice coffee and pretend. When the kids get home from school, rake the dead leaves, and let them roll around in it.
- Stock up on hurricane supplies. Because “Back to School” is the real hurricane season.
- Visit a pumpkin patch! In shorts, and tanks and full sunscreen. Bedner’s is my fave. Don’t forget the “hayride” which is actually more of an alligator tour. Still fun. The dry roasted corn maze is adorable too.
- Paint pumpkins. Carved one’s rot and mold in 2 days or less. Buy re-usable pumpkins and enjoy your handiwork year after year. Pinterest has some amazing cheats for those of us less artistically inclined.
- Crockpot everything. Even though hot and hearty aren’t on our radar, homework and hustle are.
- Eat all the squash! At least our produce has some seasonal change. Zucchini noodles, and apple ribbons have become an addiction at my house. The Spiralizer is the coolest.
- Skip the fur and locate Halloween costumes with the least amount of coverage. Not because you want your 2-year-old to look like a tramp but because there is candy to collect. Mama loves snickers. We can’t have them passing out or giving up.
- Boots!!! 😭 ~ Shop for boots online. Put them in your cart even. But buy only one pair, if you absolutely must. At least you will look super cute and wintery for 4 hours, 4-5 times a year. Scarves pair great with tank tops too.
- Go for a swim! I’m sorry there aren’t actually 10 things to do to celebrate fall in Florida. Wear an orange bathing suit or something???
There ya have it! Those are the basics for celebrating fall in South Florida. I bet you northerners have ideas that are better than mine. Drop them in the comments!Love Top 10 lists? Have a laugh, then cry over the truth with A Toddler’s Guide to Eating, in 10 Easy Rules.
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